Lumps and Love Pumps
by SoItGoes19
Summary: Ax's human morph is starting to undergo puberty. This is, unfortunately, discovered at the worst possible time: at a school dance. Luckily Rachel's around to help relieve some tension.


**This idea absolutely would not leave my head. I'm not even sure if this pairing (Ax/Rachel) even actually exists, but it was super fun to write, and helped keep me sane in third year engineering (not an easy task lol.) Takes place sometime after book 8 the alien and before book 13 when Tobias gets a human morph. **

Since landing on earth, I had made a goal to myself to understand human culture. Tonight, I was facing my most difficult mission yet: a dance.

Marco poked at me with his elbow. "Come on Ax-man. Don't just stand there! You gotta dance!"

I stared down at my ridiculously unstable human body. "I don't know how. Howwwuuh. Hoooooow. Such delightful mouth sounds."

Marco rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Just let instinct take over. It's like any other morph. The human in you will know what to do."

I decided to take Marco's advice. I pushed all my thoughts aside and surrendered to the instincts of the morph. And then all of a sudden, it was like I knew just what to do! I felt the base thumping through my body like a heartbeat. And then I started to move.

Marco laughed in appreciation. "Look who's getting down with their human self! Jake," he called, "check out, Ax – er I mean, Philip!"

Prince Jake appeared reluctant to remove his gaze from Cassie, whom he was currently dancing with. After a long moment he looked over at me.

"How am I doing, Prince Jake?" I asked.

"Don't call me prince," he reprimanded with a smile. "And you're doing good!"

After making sure that Cassie was fixated on the music, he angrily mouthed to Marco "Don't bother me again!"

I didn't really understand why - Prince Jake sees Cassie every day at school.

In any case Marco seemed to take the warning to heart. He leaned in close and threw his arm around me. "Alright Ax, looks like it's just you and me tonight. And because I'm such a nice guy, in addition to being both cute and charming, I will sacrifice my own valuable time with the ladies in order to be your wingman."

"Wingman?"

"Someone that helps a friend score chicks."

"Chicks? Are we acquiring more bird morphs for a mission?" I asked, confused.

Marco covered my mouth with his hand. "Jesus, try to be a little more obvious, will you? Girls, Ax. The entire point of these things is to get girls. So just pick the prettiest one and I'll get her to dance with you."

I scoured the gymnasium (a task made much more difficult without my stalk eyes.) In my Andalite form I never would have found a human female attractive. But now that I was in morph, I could identify many that were actually quite beautiful.

One stood out to me in particular. She wore a short black dress that clung to the curves of her body, showing long legs and an hour-glass like figure. The dim lighting of the room seemed to reflect off of her long blond hair, making it sparkle. As she turned around I could see large breasts that bobbed up and down as she danced. Suddenly I found myself unable to take my eyes off them.

I mentally shook myself. Breasts? Since when did I care about that?

Still, I did want tonight's dance to be a learning experience. And in order to gain a full range of knowledge from the event, I would need to dance with a human female.

"That one," I said, pointing to my choice. "I like her. Herrrr."

Marco squinted his eyes. "Holy shit. Is that Rachel? You want to dance with Rachel?"

My eyes widened in surprise. In the dim lighting I was unable to discern that the girl in the black dress was actually my comrade and fellow Animorph.

"She is the most beautiful," I admitted truthfully.

He shook his head with a pained smile. "She's going to kill you."

He was probably right. In a battle Rachel was a true warrior, fearsome to behold. A sudden thought ran through my head. What if Rachel got so angry that went into her grizzly morph? I was so vulnerable in my human body, I wouldn't stand a chance! I'd be utterly obliterated!"

Marco walked over to Rachel, and I was powerless to do anything but follow.

"Hey Rachel, Philip wants to ask you a question."

"Rachel, will you dance with me?" I blurted out.

Rachel stared me down. She then looked at Marco standing next to me and smirked.

"Sure, Phillip. I'd love too."

Marco gaped. "You never say yes to me!"

Her smirk grew eve wider. "That's because 'Philip' asked sincerely. You always just use your lame pick-up lines."

Marco crossed his arms and jutted out his lower lip, an expression I believe is called pouting. "My pick up lines are not lame," he countered.

"Uh-huh. Call me when one of them actually works. Come on Ax, let's go," Rachel said, putting an arm around my waist. She pulled me toward cluster of humans dancing in the center of the room.

I had thought that it was warm on the outskirts of the gym. But the center was like being in a tropical rainforest! The air was so hot and muggy that everything seemed to slow down all at once. I could feel my own perspiration beginning to soak through my artificial skins. Rachel was beginning to sweat as well. Her pale skin was flushed, giving her a rosy glow that brought out her blue eyes.

She stood in front of me and hooked her arm around my neck, bringing me in very close to her. She smiled dangerously and whispered in a low voice "let's do it."

It sent shivers down my spine.

She began to move slowly up and down my body. I put my hands on her hips to guide her, moving her back and forth like a pendulum to the thumping beat of the base. She began moving faster, making a burning sensation in my lower regions. I felt very warm and tingly in the spot where she was moving her body.

It felt good. It felt very very very good.

I wanted more! There was a rhythm of something building in my body, something exciting! I moved Rachel faster and faster. She sighed softly in my ear, showing that she was enjoying herself as well. The sound made my heart beat even faster.

I wanted more friction. I wanted her closer to me. I wanted to touch –

"Woah kids! Break it up!" An unknown voice shouted. A pair of hands pulled us apart roughly.

What had I just done? I had never lost control of a morph so badly, and especially not my human morph which I had done so many times before. Well except around cinammon bunz. And chilli. But there was not even any food around at the current moment, which meant there was no stimulus to explain my current behavior. It was very strange…

Unfortunately there was also another pressing matter to attend to. The person that had pulled us apart was none other than Chatman, the school's principle and a well-known controller. What did he want with us?

Chapman ran his fingers through his hair ( a futile gesture since he didn't have much left) and groaned angrily.

"I can't have you too dancing like…like _heathens _at a middle school dance. Rachel, you're an honors student. I expected better of you than this."

Rachel glared right back at him. I guess that Chatman became intimidated because he soon turned to me.

And you," Chapman said, glaring at me. "I don't know who you are. But you need to go to the bathroom and cover up."

I followed his gaze down to my lower regions. There was a large lump sticking out of the area where I normally fastened a human invention called a zipper.

"What is this lump? Lumpah?" I wondered. I touched it experimentally. It felt very pleasant. Much like when Rachel was dancing with me, only much more concentrated in effect.

I saw Prince Jake and Marco in the large group of students that were now watching Rachel, Chatman, and I. Their eyes were wide. Marco's mouth was hanging open slightly, making him look a bit like a fish.

"Prince Jake! Marco!" I called to them. "You need to try this! It actually feels quite pleasant!"

A large number of events happened in quick succession:

A red tailed hawk shrieked from his position on the outside windowsill and flew out into the night. Rachel screamed "Tobias!" and ran toward the exit. And then Chatman moved toward me slowly with his hands outstretched.

His face was quite red, making me concerned for his health.

"Are you suffering a heart attack?" I asked.

He let out a choking noise in response.

Prince Jake intercepted Chatman, moving in between me and him in a protective stance.

"He's homeschooled!" he explained in a rush. "He doesn't understand!"

Chatman seemed to be incapable of doing anything other than muttering and shaking his head. At last, he took and deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Get. Him. Out of here."

Prince Jake nodded emphatically. "We will, sir. He won't cause any more trouble tonight."

He grabbed one of my arms and Marco grabbed the other, while Cassie took up the rear.

"I can't believe you just cranked your love pump in front of Chatman!" Marco yelled whisper-yelled.

Jake raised an eyebrow. "Cranked your love pump? Really, Marco?"

Marco shrugged. "What? It's accurate."

I did not know what a "love pump" was. Or why Chatman had gotten so angry.

"I still do not understand," I asked. "What have I done wrong?"

Cassie stroked my hair. "Jake and Marco will explain to you later," she promised. "But, Ax…you're probably not going to be allowed back at school for a while."


End file.
